Let’s play carpenter! First, we’ll get hammered, then I’ll nail you. I’m not a dentist, but I bet I could give you a filling. I’m not a weatherman, but you can expect a few more inches tonight. Just checked my battery life, it’s at 69%Īre you a raisin? Cause you’re raising my hopes for a kiss right about now. I think you’re suffering from a lack of vitamin me.Īre you my phone charger? Because without you, I’d die
You must be yogurt because I want to spoon you. If I was the judge, I’d sentence you to my bed. I’m an adventurer and I want to explore you.Ĭan you do telekinesis? Because you’ve made a part of me move without even touching it.
Treat me like a pirate and give me that booty.ĭoes your name start with “C” because I can “C” us getting down. Want to go back to my place and save me?Īre you a drill sergeant? Because you have my privates standing at attention. My doctor told me I have a vitamin D deficiency. When’s your favorite time in the day to have sex? Remember when we first got together? How many times did we do it in one day?Ĭheck out this fancy box of condoms in the amenities tray at my hotel. I stopped by the grocery store on my way home and picked up something you can eat off my body. I’m not sure if my favorite position is with you on top of me, beneath me, or next to me. I’ve been interested in gentle/rough/sensual sex for as long as I can remember. Guess what I’m going to do the next time I see you.ĭo you think I should go commando tonight? If you could do it anywhere in the world, where would it be? What’s your favorite sex memory of you and me? What temperature do you like it in the bedroom? Should we buy a few new toys to use together? What’s your favorite type of underwear? I’m in the shops right now… Would you rather go at it every day, or have one explosive night a week? What you wear doesn’t matter.ĭo you want to try to sleep our way through the Kama Sutra? Guess we have to try it out now.Ĩ o’clock. I just figured out the perfect safe word. I’ll pay you twice your salary if you come home right now. Ĭan I practice my lap dance skills on you? Here are my favorite ways to pleasure you. What I need right now: sleep, food, and sex. Name a body part, and I’ll send a picture of it.ĭo you think I make too much noise in bed? Next time we can try a ball gag.ĭo you know the most sensitive part of my body? Pizza is my second favorite thing to eat in bed.ĭo you want to wear that vibrator when we go out for dinner? I’ll hold the controls… You know, if I were you, I’d have sex with me. I’ve been naughty with my workload/school today. If this is how it is over the phone, I don’t know if I’ll survive the real thing. Let’s not waste time taking each others’ clothes off. Do you accept the challenge?Įver seen Fifty Shades of Grey? Want to act out a few scenes? We’ve got five minutes until the kids are home. I couldn’t stop checking you out when you left for work this morning. I hate to see you go, but I love to watch you walk away while you’re vacuuming. Might need your help in the shower after the kids are in bed tonight.
#LONG FREAKY PARAGRAPHS FOR HIM MOVIE#
Let’s put on a movie you can’t find on Disney+ 😉 Wanna put on Moana and sneak off together? Let’s get to know each other again like it’s the first time…
I would love to see more of you, if you know what I mean… I feel a bit shy, maybe tell me what you want first?ĭo you want to go on a romantic date together? I’m looking forward to seeing you tonight 😉 I want to tell you what I want, but I’m not sure how… You better keep all this in mind next time we see each other. Want to save water by showering together? I love my bed, but I’d rather be in yours. I want to wake up to more of this tomorrow morning.Ĭan you tell me what time you’ll come back to my place? I want to tell you how beautiful you look in the bedroom. I don’t want to wake up next to anyone but you. I just want to spend all night with your body next to mine. Hey, tie your shoes! I don’t want you falling for anyone else.Ĭan I follow you where you’re going right now? Because my parents always told me to follow my dreams. If nothing lasts forever, will you be my nothing? If I were an octopus, all my hearts would belong to you. You’re so beautiful that you made me forget my pick-up line.ĭid you know penguins stick to one partner their whole life? Would you like to be my penguin?Ĭan I give you a hug to show you how soft my sweater is? I’ll be the nine.Ĭan I borrow a kiss? I promise I’ll give it back. I want to take you out to dinner, then light the bedroom with candles and show you how much I love you. I’ll cook you dinner if you cook me breakfast. What are they into, what are they not? Whether you want to ask questions or get frisky, we’ve got the perfect dirty message to take your romantic life from slow to let’s go! It’s important to keep things spiced up in the bedroom, but it’s hard to know where to start.
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